The Neg: Models are People too

[Via xkcd.com]

Ever since The Game sent a press-release copy of their book to my alma mater's gender studies department, I've been intrigued by the whole idea that there are specific tips to be seen as an alpha male to Marialpha females. Moreover, the idea that women who are tired of compliments will respond positively to negs aka, back-handed compliments.

Personally, I don't find myself to be very fond of the idea of being preyed upon by men who have nothing interesting to talk about other than insulting me, but that might just be me.

I had a conversation over the weekend about the whole idea of negging a woman to get her attention. The couple was relaying how they originally met, and how the female was immune to being hit on, so once the guy played it cool and got to know her on a deeper level, she was captivated. One of the listeners took offense to this story, and responded that she and her friends (who were all 10s, according to her) were constantly barraged by men's advances and so she only paid attention to very assertive men. The male of the couple tried to explain that he hadn't done quite the same thing, but she responded to his assertions, calling them negs, when they appeared to be closer to a better grounding for her ego.


The whole incident brings me back to the idea that: Models are people too. In fact, one dear and beautiful friend was verbally assaulted on a movie set, when the director commanded her to take off her clothes, right there in front of everyone. She was an extra, quite literally the low-woman on the totem pole, but she refused. He told her that she wasn't professional and she left the set. As anyone who has worked in the industry knows, any sort of clothing removal would be explicitly negotiated in the contract prior to signing, and future contracts are always negotiated by the agency. What happened in this event was that a director got a big head and decided to verbally abuse an extra. I fully support the film industry, but I do not support this flagrant misuse of an actress.

She's an absolutely beautiful person inside and out, but would never desire to be seen as an object or less of a person. Which is the main point-  that regardless of your exterior beauty, your interior character is the means for which you will be judged.

So many men and women seem to hold models onto a pedestal, as if they can do no evil nor wrong. I find this to be very flawed logic.Perhaps I'm simply too much of a Midwesterner for this, but I was raised that one should be modest about your talents and abilities. If you truly have talent, then people will acknowledge this without your effort. Telling others that you are the simply the best will only lead to resentment. And hubris will only lead to disaster.

Which brings me back to the whole idea of the neg - men seeking to break through a woman's barrier by insulting them. It is so foreign to me.Why would you want a partner that is merely your prey? Why would you pay attention to a man who merely seeks to have you as his trophy for an evening? How is any of this the basis for any sort of a healthy relationship, much less a lasting relationship?

Marilyn Monroe seems to be the current diva-role model, but when I look at how troubled and sad she truly was, I have to wonder if all of the attention only served to dim her light before its time. People have criteria for who they would like to date, but the neg is not the best mating strategy to pursue a partner that you would like to be with for more than one night. It will tarnish your trophy, until the morning light seems to bring everything into a focus too clear for your eyes to stand.